It truly takes a lot work me up. When I do become worked up, everyone know. I’m passionate about fairness, equality, and just common sense practices. Common sense to me obviously looks different to many for various reasons. We are in a state of stillness and many would rather complain ….failing to see all of the many things that they have. I realized that to be happy with what you have, you have to be happy with you. And how do you do this?
I’m blessed to have a circle that will correct me, that will embrace me, and also push me personally and professionally in order to help me with growth. One of my favorite people reminded me the other day that “everyone cannot be in your circle, but everyone can have a position in your square.” I’m glad to have a circle that is realistic about the purpose that people serve in our live. This is something that I struggled with because I never wanted to disappoint people. I wanted people to see who I was. I wanted people to see the goodness of my heart and I often time was the person to always reach out and start conversations or who set up meet ups.
As I continue to embrace the silence and calmness of my life during this epidemic, I am beyond happy to have a moment or two or even three of downtown. To cleanse my mind, to make me stronger, and even give me time to enjoy those things we purchase but never get a chance to use.
I’m thankful to be able to connect with myself. The other day I realized I needed to do more than just binge tv and pray for the thirty minutes that I give myself. I realized that in order to truly continue finding or embracing myself I needed to sit truly still. And I did that.
I found myself sitting in my closet breathing slow with my eyes closed. I sat with a blank mind and I gave thanks to all that I have, I gave thanks to the peace that this epidemic has afforded me. I prayed for those without homes. I prayed for my students who are working as essential workers, I prayed for our government, I prayed for the world. And I did this for three hours. And I did it again the next day. I removed myself from technology. I removed myself from the news and from all of the television shows that have captivated me over the last few weeks.
This made me feel like… me. It helped me to see my purpose. It helped me to see the good in what many are seeing as bad. As I begin my online classes daily, I encourage my students to share positive sentiments from their week and a comment arrived in my email the other day, “those comments and those daily reminders and positive clips you share motivate me because I have felt overwhelmed with anxiety. Don’t stop this for us please.” And I promised I would keep this up daily for them.
The post that I read from some showed many selfish comments about needing to flee from the house. When I read them I wondered if they knew there were people who would love to be in their house? I wondered if people ever sat down to truly give thanks and go through what they have to see just how blessed they are.
As you continue with your day, your week, being quarantined find the good. I’m sure it’s difficult, but remember to take a moment to find you and that might mean sitting in total silence and praying and just thanking God, the universe, whomever you pray to for all that you have.