A few months ago I decided to burn a list of things that I felt were holding me back.
I did this with a friend and while I almost burned my kitchen down, the symbolic gesture is something that helped me to let go of my past. This gesture and idea was originally for my friend, but I realized I needed it just as much.
I remember someone questioning me about what happened with my marriages. They couldn’t accept they just ended. They wanted to know EVERY…single detail and and none of this was their business. They just desired something to talk about versus allowing me to focus on the good so I can accomplish goals. For me, when I let go of things, I don’t like to revisit them and because of how surface level I am, I just don’t believe in sharing everything because like the person shared, “I’m just being nosey” and I politely shared with them “I know and that’s why it’s still none of your business.” 🤷🏽♀️
I let things go; and I place that mess in the autoclave –
I’ve been searching for a package that a friend sent me right before Christmas. My informed delivery from USPS shows that it was delivered, so prayerfully if someone picked it up, they will return it. Because of this, I have frequented the mailroom a few times a day to recheck the shelves in hopes that someone might have returned the package or maybe in hopes that I overlooked; maybe the box is sitting right in front of my face.
Last night I walked in to find a young gentleman looking for his package too. I’m unsure of exactly how our conversation began, but over an hour later, we were still standing in the mailroom talking about…#ThisThingCalledLife
We both with some hesitation shared a tad bit about ourselves. I understood the reason for this and because of a recent situation (I should call this a recent horror), I truly have been on reserve talking to people, but I can’t let circumstances change me.
My phone rang during our conversation. It was one of my mentees. He called; actually FaceTimed me (he doesn’t believe in just calling anymore lol) to tell me that while he has been in Italy he did not forget to pick up postcards for me. This sentiment means the world to me and after I ended the FaceTime I let go of my hesitation and was pretty open with the young male. We stood there and I even opened up the two packages that I received yesterday, which gave us more to talk about.
You see, sometimes when we encounter #life we allow it to change us and I refuse to be that person to judge one person based off of the actions of others. So, just like one of my therapists told me years ago; share my story, and I shared parts that were needed with this young man. I’m unsure if I made an impact on him, but he made one on me. I reminded him, and reconfirmed to myself that with every bad, good is always there and thought about all of the good that I encountered this week alone; to include new opportunities, growth, unconditional love and friendship, trips, peace, serenity, overcoming new obstacles, and so many other things. I have a girlfriend that loved on me this past weekend and has made sure I have been following the doctors order all week; that’s a good that could easily be overlooked. I am strong enough to realize that this lesson was needed for me to see me…
We exchanged numbers, he promised if he ran by my mail he would reach out and I promised to gift him a book once they came later this weekend. There is so much good that came from this; to include:
But the biggest good was being able to end our conversation with a handshake…. which was just not suffice for an hour mailroom conversation. So I turned back, told him I had to give him a hug, and we hugged as if we were long lost friends who just needed a reminder that eveything will be ok and to always #EmbraceThisThingCalledLife
A friend shared they didn’t think I was ok after my weekend recent event, but even if I wasn’t (which in my mind I am and was) I know I’m ok now. I fail to practice what I preach sometimes and to ensure that I never make that mistake again I did a few things for myself and will continue these things moving forward:
1. Promised to love myself more –
2. I booked a trip to the Caribbean –
3. I forgave after praying and remembered that I will not become one of those hurt, hurt people –
4. I wrote what my therapist wrote to me a couple of days ago to remind myself never to second guess Ki. “You are an extraordinary individual with an excellent support system within it the ability to dig deep if necessary. A trait and element that everyone doesn’t have. Yet you also exhibit humility. Which is beyond awesome!”-
5. Continue walking in faith and never losing this optimism regardless of these crazy things that might happen; do not allow life to get me down-
So to do this, I must open up the door to the autoclave and push all of those toxic people, events, and things that will never help me grow in my purpose in there. Then I must put it on high and walk away. (Thanks Jen for this!) And just like this great friend of mine who is a scientist and I laughed about this earlier yesterday, when I close the door, I give a big ole’Color Purple laugh and remember that I will not be defeated because My Father has me!
He has created such a strong circle for me, He has given me mental strength, emotional strength to turn and keep pushing…