Some of my all time favorite movies center around dogs. A Dogs Purpose and even the sequel all confirm purposes of animals. They desire to be there for their owner. I gifted my son a dog almost two years ago. We moved because of… #life and I wanted him to have comfort.
The dog has actually served two masters because he comes to both of us. We play around with him and call him back and forth to see where his loyalty lies, but honestly, he is fair with us. They both came back from their summer visit with “their” dad and he has gravitated towards me so much; the dog…🤪 He would start the night off with Anthony and end up in my room. Anthony would call him or even walk back to get him, but he runs right back into my room.
Tonight as we prepare to move and we have our infamous sleeping bags underneath us in a room, he gravitated to me again. I wonder if he feels my anxiety? I wonder if he feels that I am uncomfortable because this will be the first time my son and I will have been away from each other (with intentions of him never returning) outside of the visits for holidays. I was fine briefly when I left to prepare him for a life overseas which was hard. I have even prepared for him to go off to college, but I still had two more years. I had two more years to enjoy him dancing late at night. I had two more years of writing him notes through the house. I had two more years of fussing at him about cleaning up his messy room. I had two more years of going to 95 percent of his basketball games and cheating attending his soccer games when the weather got too cold by sitting in the car…. HA… he was a goalie so I could see him perfectly.
I had two more years of teaching him daily about life. And while he will only be 8.5 hours away from me, I’ll get a head start and I can always think of him at diabetes camp, this hurts.
I have to remember that my puzzle is still together, my roller coaster ride is going the way it was designed, but realistically that the dog we share is showing me love because he knows my “it’s ok” is really not that.
This will be the first year of K-12, I was not able to take a picture or have his dad take a picture with me being right there with him. It’s the first year we have ever been separated and while I could blame people, I’m certain God has a bigger plan for us both. We have learned so much together. He was my college surprise before graduation.
I have never met a single person that doesn’t like him and so often (and I mean often) I met people who share their admiration for him. Just today a neighbor that I’ve never even met (just because our paths never crossed) told me he was looking to hire Anthony as his assistant coach for soccer. He shared he “admired him so much” and when he found out he was Type 1 diabetic that impressed him even more.
I went to his barbershop to get my hair cut last week and was introduced as the really tall, polite kids mom. One of the barbers complimented me for raising such a great son. With all humility I could go on for days about the compliments I receive about him. One of the students from our school last year at Fort Knox High School said, “ Anthony is like the best kid in the school, you raised a great son and as a student I know we are bad teens.” This was funny to me at the time, but I’ve been blessed.
While I could focus on why we will be separated, we had our final night together on our sleeping bags;on social media, talking in between texts and posts, etc. He answered random questions I had. He stopped and joked with me. My dog, I mean our dog wouldn’t answer to him, but stayed right next to me snoring and all. LOL…
He knows my favorite candy. We have our routine restaurants…. Cracker Barrel and Waffle House, and we have so many conversations that being on social media was probably both of our ways of ignoring what will happen tomorrow (today for me) when we have to pack the car and take that drive to the airport. I’ll see him in two weeks and then again two weeks later, but I will not have him daily looking at me asking me how was my day and listening to me in person, nor will I be able to do the that for him. I still had two more years with him and I’m grateful that I can see him at any time….but I’m being short changed two years…
My dreams and prayers are for him to be the best person he can be. I pray that he follows his passion. I pray that he allows all of our lessons to allow him to be that greatness in the making. I pray that as he transitions to live with his dad and attend the private school, that he never loses himself. I pray that he continues to wear his loud colors. I pray that he holds his head up high and continues wearing his ugly socks to match (yeah I joke with him but he really does have a very unique way of dressing which allowed him to be best dressed this year.). I pray that he doesn’t harbor any ill feelings towards anyone. I pray that he continues to be the kind and loving and compassionate person that he is and never allow the world to harden him even when he is hurt.
I pray that he has a great school year with his dad, his best friends that he grew up with, that he thinks before he reacts, and that he doesn’t miss curfew. I pray that he continues to challenge himself as a student. I pray that he speaks up when he knows something is not right! I pray that he takes care of his health and remember his body is important. I pray that if he does make the soccer or the basketball team that he gives it his all.
I pray that his dad who is a police officer is safe daily. I pray that they continue to love each other and have fun with each other. I pray that his dad teaches him what I might not have and reteach what I might have failed.
And for me I promise I will allow my dog to help heal my soul. I promise not to be angry. I promise to continue to pray for the world and pray that those in power will always do what is rights. I pray for my own new journey. I can now see why my mom cried the entire way back from dropping me off at college….
I can also see why she hurt for me now…
But I still had two more years…
#ThisThingCalledLife….Let my dog help me