Being a Black woman Pt 1.2…with natural hair

I like ratchet music. What exactly is rachet music? Who classified music?

Is it ethnic music? Kind of how it’s classified in the book section at Barnes and Noble and the hair section in most places; ethnic hair care?

Interesting, huh?

This is what it means to be a Black woman; Lesson 1.2. We are still separate, supposedly equal, but we are still judged because of the texture of our hair…

If I drive to work listening to “Wake Up in The Sky” (which I do) loud, then I’m considered … definitely inappropriate, right? Is it because of the music?

But I like rachet music and daily I have to listen to that on my way to and from work to distress. I need those lyrics from “Wake up in the Sky” and especially Chances “I Might Need Security.”

I’m a black woman who is judged because I am firm when I need to be, I will never back down when I see something unfair, and ….I have natural #blackgirlNaturalHair.

I use to have locs. I wore them for about ten years and received unnecessary attention from them. “So, do you wash them?” Hmmmmmmmm, but I wore them in cute styles; such as curly, pulled up in a bun, and even straight or naturally puffed and unkept (not really but they were to me sometimes). Before I had a big event, I made sure to get them in a style that would help me to blend in with the mainstream.

That was actually for three years. Law school was that big event. I was expected to conform. During this time, I had to find styles that were “tidy.” I needed to make sure my hair matched the professional attire I wore. My hair was just one thing. I also had to… hmmm actually still do and probably will forever have to… make sure my attitude, my demeanor matches the professional standards of White… oopps, I mean mainstream America.

When I wear sweats, I’m judged. When I wore locs, I was even racially profiled in my Sonata.. yup in that car with my son… we were profiled and …whoa!

But when I open my mouth, you know what one hears? They just hear something different from what they see. Very often my son and I receive the “you speak so articulately.” I’ve stopped wondering what that means and instead I’ve learned to be true to myself. … whatever that means, right?

In an equal opportunity world I might not feel the way I feel most days. Although I have a crap load of “credentials” (she really said I threw out my credentials the other day … and so what if I did!! I’m the first lawyer in my family, I have two masters and I’m proud of it! You know why, because I’m one of the 12 percent of Blacks in our USA that have beat the odds….but not really because the odds mean to help others grow, but because of so many things I cannot seem to help; they don’t even see that they are trapped…. ok I had to vent, but Black women cant do that, right?). Yeah, that’s a long parenthesis, but it was needed. But, it’s always said.

There are many Black Woman who feel my pain. We can never just….

(Breath as you read this and exhale )… BE. We are looked at in so many ways, but never just pure and positive.

Black woman…..we are

Resilent .. and we are Superhero’s.. I’m Ki O’Shea and my superpowers are “spreading love and positivity. “ It’s hard, but I’m still pressing forward. As Black women we are:




Tired ..

Oh yeah and we often try our best not to lose ourselves. We hurt in silence because we can’t cry. There is just too much to do! We don’t have time to cry! We have to speak up and be extra loud to advocate for those inequalities that Blacks have been fighting for. But if we are too loud, we are looked at as behaving belligerently. You know, those equal rights that “those” people say are there. We are nurturers to everyone, but ourselves.

We are the women who will create fifteen dollars out of fifteen cents because we know how to multitask and hustle legally! Even when we are spat at and scared, we can’t show our true feelings. We don’t rest well because we have to work over 24 hours. Do I at least get overtime pay?? Naw..You see we always have to work. We are like vampires, minus sucking the blood out of people, but sucking every single brain cell of ours to solving the problems of others. Yup! Others! We are what Kanye says about going to get another degree and another and even still we ain’t respected! We do it with families, we do it while sick and fighting the need to go to the doctor. We do it while pregnant. We do it while others look at us in awe! We are the pros at this thing called life. We have mastered the chess game. We are the peace keepers, the spiritual uplifters.

We are the victims (oh my did I really say that?)😳

We are the doctors, we are the detectives because God knows if someone has done something to wrongly accuse one of our babies or murder them….we will investigate and become the worst nightmare of those people.

We are the bankers…

We are the counselors to the neighborhood! The neighborhood that has our phone numbers on speed dial. We actively listen and hold on to those secrets even when we have to take blows because we just don’t ever want to reveal those precious secrets. We are the cheerleaders! We are the history teacher and the scrapbookers.

We put on that smile that seems so damn genuine even after the miscarriage. We love even when we have been stabbed in the back.

We love hard even when people are undeserving.

Our knees are filled with so many scabs.

Our minds are filled with dates. The date for… man everything!

Oh we clean and we feed our kids and we bring positivity and loving smiles everywhere!

We visit our children in prison when they are falsely accused.

We walk down to the school house even with no car and sometimes no gas money

We take the blame for others when we know it’s not our fault.

We hold our stomachs in and we do this all while having a natural hairstyle… and nice business attire! 😉

#DopeBlackWomenWithNaturalHair…we Rock!

Published by thisthingcalledlifebyki

I am a woman who realized life is what you make it! I am a mom, an ex-wife (two times), a lawyer, an educator, a librarian, and most important an overall loving person! I am me and I am taking #ThisThingCalledLife and embracing it!

10 thoughts on “Being a Black woman Pt 1.2…with natural hair

  1. Just Dope! We are the bomb and so many of us don’t realize it because life has snacked the life out of us. Wow!! I absolutely love it!!


  2. Love this!! We carry so much and you accurately described our daily plight. It’s so exhausting sometimes, but we don’t have room or a safe space to be exhausted!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post. I’ve always felt that the struggle for Black Americans is different in some ways from the struggle for Black British citizens. Like here in the UK for instance, our police officers aren’t armed which is one less thing to worry about. And British politeness often gets in the way of covert racism. Racism in France is more similar to that in America. That said, on both sides of the continent, the struggle is real. You’re a great writer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree! I visited the UK last year and I enjoyed chatting with the police officers. They took the time to assist us with directions. The struggle is real! Have you ever experienced any racism in your country?

      And thank you very much for the compliment! I appreciate that!


  4. I love my natural hair in October 2019 it will be 2years that I’ve big chopped and I wish I did it sooner…I’m never going back to the creamy crack lol


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