Being a mom has been one of the best gifts life has afforded me. I remember his first full month of life though… that one night he cried so bad that I had to go outside and sit on the steps of our apartment building and call my mom and my Aunt Janice. I told them both I was done being a mommy. They both in so many words told me that was not a choice and a week later, I dropped him off at my moms for a visit.
Since then I can’t seem to envision my life without him. We travel together. We read together. We share music. We share random bits of knowledge. He keeps saying he is my best friend… (I remind him when he turns 30 he can be..). He hugs me when I need one. He is attentive to life which makes him wise.
That day he would not stop crying was hard. When I found out I was pregnant it was scary. It was uncomfortable. I was in my early twenties, still a college student, and although his dad was and has always been active in his life, it was a lot overwhelming. Fast forward to that first time I took him out in public. I was at the mall with one of my line sisters. I couldn’t figure out how to put the stroller up. I was overwhelmed and I was nervous and …. I had to learn. And I’m still learning and the lessons I’m learning are…
…Allow him to teach me just as I teach him. There is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect situation. Our life has changed a lot, but we both have shown that the good will always outweigh the bad! He has seen the importance of those soft skills and understands that book skills are just as important as learning how to iron, go to the pharmacy, call insurance companies, knowing where the local hospitals are, how to cook, and even how to but up book shelves…
Over his 16 years of life, he has taught me patience, devotion, dedication, and never to just walk away without a fight. Ha… never to walk away without a fight… how befitting of a statement (standing in front of The Muhammad Ali!) after our recent visit to the museum.
This young man was in a coma for almost five days and woke up as if nothing had ever happened. His smile and his spirit is contagious. Daily he asks me “Mom, how was your day,” and actively listens. I mean he looks me in my eyes and truly listens to what I say. He gives me advice and I actually take his advice. He loves me in a way that I cannot even explains and he trusts me to take care of him. He recommended a song around this time last year for me. “Mom, listen to Drake Nice for Wat.” I needed that and it was my theme song. I got in the car another day and he played “My Mojo So Dope” by Kid Cudi…(😳) but he was wise enough to find a way to help me that day…. even though sometimes it’s a bit uncomfortable to see him turning into a young man… and praying that he will never sing the entire song aloud while in front of me….😳 I’m NOT ready lol!
He motivates to always be kind like him. He motivates me to be generous and loving and attentive to the needs of not just people I know, but strangers. I remember when he was in about second or third grade. His teacher called me to tell me that they were in awe with something that he did. A new kid came to the school. My teenager, who was then a young elementary student was and is still very popular. He left his friends and went to play with the new kid. This action caused all of his friends to follow him. He is a trend setter… HePHIHe (I joke with my best friend that he will probably never pledge a Greek fraternity, but others will want to be in his space..) he is himself all of the time and as I sit and watch and listen to him, I feel so honored that he is my child.
If we all take the time to listen and watch our children, we would definitely be better people! They are fighters…they are resilient…they are unique …and even when they act out and we fuss and yell and (I scream and my Gemini twin comes out..) we can learn so much….
Being a mom has been a blessing… being a mom has been encouraging… being a mom has been so fulfilling…being a mom has been extremely nerve wrecking…. he drove me on the highway the other day and I had to hold on for dear life without letting him know how scared I was….
Take the time today to laugh with your child, watch a movie with your child, send your child a note, ask for advice from your child…. they are wise beyond their years..
#ThisThingCalledLife…. my child is a fighter…and yours is too!
He holds the torch!